In 2018, the Oxford English Dictionary named “toxic” its word of the year. Unsurprising given the political climate at the time: Trump was President, Britain was Brexiting, and tech companies were under intense scrutiny for their role in …
Jotting off a quick IM or email is a fast way to communicate, but the written word can easily be misinterpreted. Our brains are hardwired to assume the negative, which means the receiver could assume a tone or underlying meaning that’s just not …
Habits can be a powerful tool for achieving goals and getting things done. Automatic and requiring little effort to implement, habits can help you yield the results you want, but only if you’re someone who is wired for disciplined living with a …
As Americans awaited the Supreme Court’s final decision on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, a handful of companies took steps to protect abortion access for their employees. Among them were major employers like Starbucks, Apple, and Amazon, who pledged to cover travel costs for workers who were forced to leave the state for abortion care. In the days since the Court’s ruling was announced, other companies have followed their lead, from Disney and Target to JPMorgan Chase, the largest bank in the country.
With abortion already outlawed in at least seven states, companies are assuming the responsibility of preserving access for their employees, especially if they have significant workforces in states where abortion is banned or soon to be prohibited. But leaving it up to businesses to protect abortion access does raise complicated questions about privacy: What do workers need to disclose to their companies about an incredibly personal decision if they want to take advantage of those benefits? And how much can employers really protect identifying data amid mounting legal challenges?
It’s an issue that was top of mind for Colleen McCreary, the chief people, places, and publicity officer at fintech startup Credit Karma, when she started thinking about how to support employees in advance of the Court’s decision. “The idea that we were going to potentially ask a female employee, or a male employee who is supporting their partner, to go to their manager or even the HR person just felt very uncomfortable,” she says.
Credit Karma already offered benefits to support employees who had to travel for cancer treatments or transplant surgeries, so the company tacked on both abortion services and gender-affirming care in recent months. Since Credit Karma uses a third-party service—the health tech startup Collective Health—to manage its health insurance plans, employees can seek reimbursement for abortion-related travel without discussing it with anyone at the company. (As with many large employers, Credit Karma’s health insurance plan is self-funded, which also gives them more flexibility to provide these benefits, even in states that ban or restrict private insurance coverage of abortion.)
To assuage employee concerns, companies like Credit Karma have also tried to be more transparent about privacy issues. “I think it’s important to expressly call it out,” McCreary says. “I specifically said: ‘We do not want to put you in an awkward situation, so we have intentionally made sure that this is separate.’”
Several other employers—including Yelp, Patagonia, and Airbnb—have said they are also covering abortion-related expenses through their health plans, so employees will not have to inform the company directly about claims for reimbursement. “Employee privacy and confidentiality was a priority when we were initially discussing how to implement this benefit,” a Yelp spokesperson told Fast Company. “If an employee utilizes this benefit, this will remain strictly confidential between the employee and the insurance provider, and Yelp will not have access to that information.”
Of course none of this ensures total privacy when health insurance is inextricably linked to employment in this country, and nearly half of Americans are covered by employer-sponsored plans. And if employees are worried about the implications of disclosing abortion-related data to an employer—even indirectly, within the confines of a health plan—it’s for good reason: As the legal landscape shifts rapidly, with state lawmakers pursuing legislation that would bar people from traveling to another state for abortion care, it’s not yet clear how these new benefits and policies could open companies up to legal action. One gray area at the moment is whether employers could assume legal culpability in states like Texas and Oklahoma that prohibit helping someone obtain an abortion.
“Some employers are beginning to consider: What would happen if we received a subpoena from a prosecutor in our state, requesting employee data, in order to identify employees who might have violated one of these new prohibitions?” says Reece Hirsch, a partner at Morgan Lewis who leads the law firm’s privacy and cybersecurity practice. “And the answers will vary a little bit state to state, because first, you have to have an awareness of exactly what law is alleged to be violated, and what the laws are in that state protecting employee data.”
While HIPAA does protect employee data in a health plan, the same isn’t true of information that a company obtains “in its capacity as an employer,” Hirsch says, such as COVID vaccination records. This may be of greater concern for smaller employers, who are less likely to have a self-funded health plan and may be subject to more stringent rules around what health insurance can legally cover. “Where it’s a bigger issue from a privacy standpoint is with smaller employers,” says employment lawyer Gary Phelan. “They don’t necessarily have third-party administrators when it comes to health insurance.” It’s also not clear how employers would extend abortion-related benefits to contractors who aren’t on the company’s health plan (though at the moment, companies like Google and Amazon have only offered coverage to full-time employees, despite pushback).
Even if an employer exclusively provides abortion-related benefits through their health plan, HIPAA protections don’t necessarily guarantee that companies won’t have to turn over employee data if faced with legal action. “Let’s say an employer group health plan is covering abortion pills and reimbursing those,” Hirsch says. “That information could be subpoenaed, and HIPAA does have exceptions for disclosures to law enforcement authorities and pursuant to subpoenas.”
Under some state privacy laws, medical records that document substance abuse or mental health issues are subject to greater protections. As abortion is criminalized in more states, Hirsch says it’s possible lawmakers might try to adopt those protections for reproductive health records, as well. In California and Vermont, a constitutional amendment to protect abortion access will be on the ballot come fall, and it’s possible some blue states may take a cue from Connecticut and draft legislation that would shield people from being punished for crossing state lines to get an abortion.
Whatever happens in the months to come, companies will have to brace themselves for a slew of new challenges, as they balance compliance with evolving abortion laws alongside concerns about employee privacy and state laws that enshrine privacy rights. “The overall takeaway is we’re anticipating there may be a new series of requests or subpoenas submitted to employers over the coming year that will seek some of this reproductive health related information,” Hirsch says. “And there’s no one-size-fits-all answer for how you respond to one of those.”
If you’re unhappy with a situation at work, one option is to confront the issue head on. While that may be the quickest way to resolve a conflict, a lot of people resort to another tactic: passive aggression, or using underhanded comments to vent frustration.
According to a survey from the language-learning platform Preply, 73% of American workers said they have experienced passive aggression at work; 52% admit to being passive-aggressive at work themselves; and 38% feel their workplace incentivizes passive-aggressive communication.
The survey found that the worst types of passive aggression include shifting blame, patronizing, and denying anger. And the worst passive-aggressive phrases are:
- “As you, no doubt, are aware . . . “
- “For future reference”
- “Friendly reminder”
- “CC’ing [my boss] for visibility”
- “Per my last email”
“Intrinsically, most of us are nice people,” says Salman Raza, a soft skills consultant and author of Life’s Non Conformities. “We don’t always express displeasure out of politeness. We let the annoyance build up within ourselves, and it can manifest in our own behavioral changes where we may start using a different choice of words and taunting comments.”
If you’re on the receiving end of passive-aggressive comments from a coworker or your boss, Raza says the first step is to identify and label the intensity of it. “Am I annoyed, or am I outraged?” he says. “Once you identify the intensity of the displeasure, then we need to find a way to counter that feeling.”
Raza adds that it’s important to not associate the emotion with yourself. “For example, don’t say, ‘I’m angry,’” he says. “Instead, remind yourself, ‘there is anger in me.’ There’s a difference. When there is anger in me, and I need to get rid of that anger, our brains start recognizing that there is an uninvited emotion that doesn’t reflect the best of me. Then it’s an easier process to detach.”
Once you can detach from the emotion, you can get rid of it. The best thing to do is to not react in the moment. Instead, respond to the person when your emotions are not running high.
“Reaction is impulsive, whereas response is measured,” says Raza. “Let it go for the time being but don’t ignore it.”
When you do approach the individual, the key to starting the conversation is to not assign blame. Instead, address the situation with an observable behavior rather than a generic statement. For example, Raza suggests saying, “When you made this comment, it made me feel this way. It gives me the impression that you don’t trust me.”
“Feeling is true, but what you’re feeling may not necessarily be a factual situation,” he says. “While it is fact for you, it may not be for them. This keeps the conversation in a positive, constructive tone, instead of blaming and putting the person on the defensive.”
The other person may not be aware that their comments are being interpreted negatively. And Raza says that when people exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, there may be something else going on with them that has nothing to do with you. They may be under stress and venting it in the wrong place.
“When you put on an investigative hat, you might recognize that it’s not personal, or it’s not because they are angry with you,” says Raza. “Something may be going on in their head or in their life that is instigating that behavior. Once you realize that it’s nothing to do with you, you don’t need to feel defensive.”
Raza says it can help to remember how you might deal with your young child. You have unconditional love for them, which makes it easy to overlook comments from them that can be hurtful. While you don’t have the same feelings with your colleagues and boss, the principle remains the same, he says.
“It doesn’t happen overnight; we have to work on it,” he says. “Our brain is teachable. We can train ourselves to be calmer and to find the peace.”
One of the most overlooked perks of starting a new job is the opportunity to set new boundaries to protect yourself from burnout. The late-night emailing, saying yes when your plate is already full, unused paid time off (PTO) collecting dust—those burnout-friendly habits don’t have to follow you from one job to the next.
And when it comes to changing your habits, that first-day-on-the-job feeling can help. Studies show that having a fresh start can make it easier for us to set and stick with new goals.
“We’re more open to change when we feel we have a chance to start anew,” Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, coauthors of Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, explain. “It’s also much easier to set expectations at the beginning of a job than to try to change things later down the road.”
All it takes is a little self-reflection on how burnout has manifested for you before and setting new boundaries with coworkers and yourself.
Here, experts share the best ways to start protecting yourself from burnout on day one (and earlier) of your new job.
Reflect on your history with burnout
If you’ve changed jobs because of burnout, you’re not alone. In fact, a survey conducted by software firm Limeade of 1,000 full-time employees in the U.S. who started new jobs in 2021 revealed that burnout was the top reason they decided to make a change.
It’s easy to put your last job in the rearview mirror after that final Zoom or IRL farewell from your coworkers. But corporate psychologist Patricia Thompson recommends taking an honest look at how burnout manifested for you in your previous job before you start your new position.
“The start of a new job is an excellent time to reflect on your relationship with burnout because it provides you with an opportunity to begin with a clean slate,” Thompson says.
Set aside time to have a “burnout exit interview” with yourself before you start your new role. Think through the things that might have contributed to you feeling depleted, disconnected from your work, or less effective in your work—the three dimensions of burnout as defined by the World Health Organization.
To start, here are some self-reflection questions Thompson recommends:
- Did I speak up, advocate for myself, or ask for assistance to prioritize when my workload became overwhelming? Did my manager know what was going on with me?
- How much control did I feel in my role? Did I ask what I needed of my manager?
- Did people-pleasing tendencies lead to burnout? In a desire to be agreeable, did I take on more than was reasonable?
- Did I delegate appropriately? Did I ask for help from others when I needed it, or was I overly self-reliant?
- Did I make adequate space for my life outside of work? What sort of things did I do to manage stress?
- What would I like to do differently in my new role? In what areas do I need to grow to maintain a healthier balance (e.g., time management, assertiveness, delegation)?
Establish your on and off hours
Once you’re in your new job, start by setting boundaries around your work hours to combat that always-on-the-clock feeling.
During your onboarding, talk with your manager about your “on” hours and align on when you’ll be reachable. When asked directly, you’ll realize most managers don’t have an expectation that you’ll be available evenings and weekends too.
“Instead of assuming that your boss wants you working at all hours, you might be pleasantly surprised,” Thompson says. “And armed with the understanding that balance is valued, you might feel more comfortable taking much-needed time for yourself.”
Once you set those on and off hours, it’s time to hold yourself to them—especially if you’re working from home. Try creating a ritual that signals you’re done working for the day, like closing your laptop, putting away work documents, or fully logging out of Slack or Teams. Let your coworkers and even friends and family know your “off” hours to help hold you accountable.
And if stepping away gives you anxiety: Thompson says you can always provide your coworkers with a way to reach you if there’s an emergency.
Block off your nonnegotiables on your calendar
Need more head-down working time? A half-hour in the morning to set your priorities? Breaks for pumping breast milk? PTO next month so you can get quality time with friends? Make your nonnegotiables—both for your work and well-being—part of your calendar so that you prioritize them as you start this new chapter.
“Figure out your nonnegotiables in terms of self-care and schedule them,” Thompson says. “For example, I know that if I don’t work out several times a week, I don’t feel good. So I put it on my calendar. The times may vary, depending on my work schedule, but I make it a priority.”
If guilt creeps in (or self-comparison to that coworker who’s available 24/7), Thompson says to remind yourself of the big picture. “While making a good first impression is important, it’s also critical to keep a long-range view,” she says.
Don’t forget: Feeling connected to your coworkers can help prevent burnout too. Schedule time to get to know your new team outside of regular meetings, whether that’s with an IRL coffee break or one-on-one Zoom.
Set Expectations for Your Turnaround Time
When work requests start rolling in: Resist the urge to immediately say yes! “You may think you are being a ‘good employee’ by saying yes to everything, but you’re not a good employee if you are burned out,” Fosslien and West Duffy say.
Start by asking a colleague when they actually need a task completed. Then, think about your bandwidth and respond with what’s actually doable for you. By slowing down your response, you’ll have more control over your workload and you’ll build trust with your team members as you meet deadlines successfully.
Raise a Flag When Your Boundaries Are Crossed
Even the best-set boundaries will be crossed, either by others or ourselves. Be compassionate with yourself if you backslide on that commitment to log off right at 5 p.m one busy Tuesday—it happens, and you can reset the next day.
If your increasing workload is making your boundaries wobbly: Raise a flag early on and ask your manager for support. While it might feel scary to admit you can’t do it all, you’re actually being more productive by forcing yourself—and your manager—to identify what’s most important.
“Ask your manager to help you prioritize your work,” Fosslien and West Duffy say. “Your manager will appreciate this, since you are being proactive. You can say, ‘Here are all the things I have on my plate for this month. I have time to get to three of them. How would you prioritize them?’”
And if a coworker is ignoring your boundary—say, your commitment to not respond to work messages after 5 p.m.—schedule a follow-up meeting after the incident to reassert your boundary and find a way to work with it.
Thompson says it can help to explain to them why you’ve set certain boundaries. Maybe it’s important to spend quality time with your kids after work, or your evening yoga routine helps you feel recharged. Sharing the “why” behind your boundary can empower you to stand by it—and who knows, you might inspire a coworker to prioritize themselves in a similar way. We all could use that reminder.
“The most important step for combating burnout is giving yourself permission to tend to your own needs by recognizing that self-care isn’t self-indulgent,” Thompson says. “Remind yourself that if you’re not taking good care of yourself, you’re simply not going to be at your best at work.”
Introverts hold a quiet power in the world. Unlike extroverts, who gather energy by being around others, introverts typically prefer more intentional and quiet moments. But, just as it would be inaccurate to characterize all extroverts as outgoing, all…
The notion that opposites attract may be true in your personal relationships; being with someone who isn’t like you can provide a sense of balance and novelty. When it comes to coworkers, however, it’s often a different story. You didn’t choose them, but you need to get along with them.
“You don’t necessarily understand where they’re coming from because they’re opposite, or at least very different,” says Kelly McDonald, author of How to Work With and Lead People Not Like You. “You may not get their perspective because that’s not how your mind thinks or the way that you operate.”
Some of the common personalities that would be considered opposites include: risk-takers versus those who are risk averse, decisive people versus ponderers, introverts and extroverts, analytical thinkers and creative thinkers, and confrontational and nonconfrontational people.
“In all of these cases, I think the challenge at work is about keeping the business moving forward,” says McDonald. “Anytime the conversation shuts down, it’s not good for business. We’ve got to be able to talk about things, even the things that we don’t know how to talk about.”
Find the Connection
The first step for working with someone who is not like you is to find the common ground. “We might have to look for it and dig a little bit, but it’s always there,” says McDonald, adding that good topics to connect on can be families, hobbies, movies, pets, and sports. “Anything we can do that starts a safe conversation that is a positive connecting point is good.”
McDonald recalls a previous employer who called his team into a conference room for a quick standing meeting. He told the group, “We’ve all been working together, but some of us don’t know each other very well. I want everyone in the room to share something that others are not likely to know about you.”
“It was really fun because people were saying the most random things,” says McDonald. “One said, ‘I know how to do a proper British curtsy.’ Another person said, ‘I was raised on a ranch in Wyoming.’ These things aren’t likely to come up at work. Finding common ground, or a topic to talk about, creates a bridge between you and someone else.”
Stop Saying “Let’s Agree to Disagree”
Different perspectives, approaches, and viewpoints can often lead to friction at work. Not everyone will see things the same way you do, and it can create tension if someone tries to win an argument or persuade others to share their point of view. Often the compromise is to say, “Let’s agree to disagree,” but this is a mistake, says McDonald.
“Those words are polite, and they should work—but they don’t. It comes across as dismissive,” she says. “It’s almost a snobby tone in your voice that is saying, ‘Obviously, you can’t see that I’m right.’ And with that, the conversation is over.”
Instead, McDonald recommends saying, “I see it differently.” “Those four words can turn a debate into a discussion,” she says. “I’m going to bet my house that you’re going to come back with something like, ‘Tell me how you see it,’ and then we’re having a conversation. It still might not be smooth sailing, but as long as we’re continuing a conversation, we can try to understand another’s perspective, even if it’s very different from ours.”
Don’t Think of Coworkers as Family
Some companies like to create a culture in which their team is like a family. That’s a mistake because it can make employees feel bad for not liking a coworker. Liking and disliking are emotions, and emotion can be left out of work, says McDonald.
“Culture is more about the shared mission, the shared goals, the shared vision, and the values,” she says. “You don’t have to like someone to be able to work effectively with them. It’s possible to be part of a high-performing team and not necessarily like each other. Sports teams and military troops do this all the time. When they get out there, they have a job to do, and they do it.”
Realizing that it’s okay to not like someone frees you up to focus on the job at hand. “Of course, you must be respectful and professional at all times,” says McDonald. “Set the emotion aside and say, ‘What are we doing here? We’re working on this. That’s what I’m going to focus on.’”
Give Each Other Grace
Many of us are afraid of saying the wrong thing, and it’s not uncommon to do. McDonald says when people say the wrong thing, it’s often not out of maliciousness, spite, or meanness. It’s usually due to ignorance.
“We need to acknowledge that as people navigate conversations at work, sometimes people are going to say the wrong thing,” she says. “You can tell when malice is intended and when it’s not.”
Instead of taking things personally or going on the attack, McDonald recommends correcting the person and moving on. “It’s not sweeping it under the rug,” she says. “It’s addressing it, but not in a tear-your-head-off way. We have enough tear-your-head-off anger in the world.”
In the moment, McDonald recommends giving the person a little bit of grace, correcting them, and letting them know that what they said was not okay.
“Focus on the outcome and the goals of what the team is trying to do,” she says. “When a conversation schisms off in a different direction that’s not productive, bring it back. Everything we’re trying to do is about refocusing. Things can get heated quickly, and that’s not good for anybody’s career, or for the business.”
When we talk about inclusion today, we think of identity markers such as race, class, ability, and sexual orientation. But another important consideration is neurodiversity, which refers to the different ways in which people’s brains interact wi…
The evidence is in, and it’s probably not surprising: Volunteering is good for you.
A 2020 Harvard University study found that older adults who volunteer 100 or more hours per year reduce their chance of early death and better levels of optimis…
