In a controversial move, the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) recently announced in a LinkedIn post that it would eliminate the term “equity” from its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) terminology, opting instead for just “inclusion and diversity.”
This decision, framed as a strategy to foster holistic change, has been met with substantial criticism from HR professionals and DEI practitioners alike. Many of us have argued that removing “equity” undermines the very foundation of DEI efforts, which aim to address and rectify systemic disparities. Critics see this as a retreat in the face of growing anti-DEI sentiment, reflecting a broader trend of organizations backpedaling on their commitments to equity amidst political, business, and social pressures.
What organizations like SHRM may or may not realize is that abandoning the work of diversity, equity, and inclusion causes real harm and serious pain. Here’s how:
Dirty pain and clean pain
By sidelining equity, SHRM’s move may unintentionally exacerbate something called “dirty pain.” Rather than promoting the necessary discomfort and growth that true equity work demands, dirty pain happens when we avoid, and deny the need for, hard-earned progress. This shift not only signals a potential weakening of DEI initiatives but also underscores the ongoing challenges and resistance faced by those striving to create inclusive and equitable workplaces.
I suggest that the cognitive phenomenon of “clean pain” vs. “dirty pain” may be fueling the backlash against meaningful DEI progress. In his book My Grandmother’s Hands, Resmaa Menakem delineates these terms, explaining that clean pain “can build our capacity for growth. It is a pain we experience when we don’t know what to do, when we are scared, or when we step forward into the unknown anyway, with honesty and vulnerability”. Dirty pain, on the other hand, is “the pain of avoidance, blame, or denial.”
White people often struggle to engage in DEI discussions due to their discomfort, and thus avoid confronting issues such as privilege, bias, and the historical and ongoing impacts of systemic racism and discrimination. They feel they do not have the capacity and tools to handle this “dirty pain” and become stuck in a “shame storm”—an intense and overwhelming flood of emotions like unworthiness, inadequacy, and self-doubt. Unfortunately, any honest discussion of the treatment of historically excluded people throughout American history is unavoidably uncomfortable. This is why you may have heard many DEI practitioners say things like, “Comfort is not the goal” and “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
The impacts of dirty pain
Dirty pain manifests in phrases like “All lives matter” because they deflect the focus away from addressing systemic oppression against specific communities. Dirty pain also manifests as white fragility, which claims DEI is just reverse racism and denies other people’s lived experiences. Dirty pain can also manifest as the perpetuation of false narratives against certain groups. For example, “Black-on-Black crime” is a narrative that has been thoroughly debunked, yet it persists.
Many white audiences argue that the principles and methods of DEI infringe upon their perceived freedoms or traditional values—that “leveling the playing field” means bringing them down or taking things away. Research on shame triggers in the workplace reveals that these fears are rooted in the specter of individual irrelevance. It is no surprise that people with privilege fear their own demise at the hands of equity and inclusion.
However, it isn’t simply bias or even fear that alone explains white people’s resistance to DEI in the workplace. Hurt people respond from their most wounded parts, become cruel or violent, or physically or emotionally run away. This type of pain can lead to shame, which in turn leads, in this case, to the DEI backlash we are experiencing. We must acknowledge and address history’s dirty pain to move toward collective healing.
“Dirty pain typically refers to the secondary emotional response triggered by an initial unpleasant emotional experience, resulting in prolonged suffering. While this typically manifests internally, we’re examining how it can manifest externally in this context of DEI backlash,” explains Dr. Tracey Seay Dashjian, a psychologist versed in cognitive behavioral therapies. “For instance, some white individuals may experience shame regarding their ancestors’ actions, leading them to deflect this discomfort by channeling it into anger toward diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives. This cycle perpetuates suffering rather than addressing the root cause of racism.”
“Dirty pain, as observed in the resistance towards diversity, equity, and inclusion, is a complex manifestation of unaddressed historical shame and trauma,” echoes Denise Brady, CEO and founder of In the Meantime Breathe family counseling services. “It’s not about diagnosing individuals but recognizing a broader pattern rooted in the discomfort of acknowledging privilege and the painful legacies of colonization, genocide, and systemic oppression.”
In her own practice, Brady says she focuses on “facilitating conversations that delve into these uncomfortable truths, encouraging individuals to confront their biases and privileges, and ultimately fostering genuine introspection and growth”.
How to address dirty pain
Addressing “dirty pain” is a multifaceted process that may involve a combination of self-reflection, education, dialogue, and activism. We know that trauma can be passed down through generations. Guilt, embarrassment, and shame are among the most challenging emotions to confront, prompting individuals to seek ways to avoid or externalize them. Experts like Brady suggest that DEI initiatives offer a tangible target for this emotional displacement, allowing individuals to deflect blame and restore a sense of equilibrium. Ultimately, this process of emotional displacement only exacerbates pain by layering on resentment and anger, reinforcing suffering on a personal level and within society.
Certainly, therapy can provide a safe place to explore biases and confront uncomfortable truths. However, According to the CDC, women are more likely than men to receive mental health treatment. And white adults receive the highest rates of mental health treatment of all racial and ethnic groups. However, despite higher utilization of mental health services, white individuals may still struggle with “dirty pain” due to various factors.
One potential explanation is that traditional mental health approaches may not adequately address the root causes of emotional distress—mainly when it stems from societal factors like historical legacies of privilege and systemic injustices.
“I rarely hear about white individuals seeking therapy to confront their whiteness,” says Brady. “It’s also important to note that going to therapy and doing the work are distinct actions.” Further, many therapists and mental health professionals may not always be equipped to navigate discussions around race, privilege, and shame, leaving some white individuals to grapple with these issues on their own.
Societal norms and cultural expectations may also influence how white individuals perceive and express their pain. Even amongst themselves, white individuals willing to hold space for DEI advocacy can be seen as outsiders or as “unpatriotic.”
The backlash against DEI
Recently, several conservative-leaning states such as Florida, Texas, and Utah have introduced or passed bills to quell diversity and inclusion programs at colleges, companies, and in government. Many states have also banned books and altered history textbooks to espouse a more palatable narrative. Rather than addressing the dirty pain, they have chosen to chase comfort.
But the truth is that where inequities exist, all of us are harmed. According to Dr. Janice Gasame Asare, a DEI practitioner and founder BWG Business Solutions, white supremacy hurts us all—even white people. “It distorts perceptions of government programs, stifles innovation, damages the environment, and perpetuates a cycle of oppression where no one is truly free until all are liberated,” she writes. Her work outlines how whiteness fosters a hyper-individualistic and competitive mindset, instilling a scarcity mentality where success is perceived as a zero-sum game. In this environment, individuals are pitted against each other, hindering genuine connections. Within this framework, individuals are reduced to mere commodities valued solely for their productivity, reinforcing a dehumanizing cycle where worth is contingent on output.
Additionally, the interconnected nature of oppression means that white individuals who do not conform to the idealized standards of whiteness experience harm. Where this system persists unchallenged, it perpetuates a system that oppresses us all. The harm looks different, of course, but it does exist.
When we consider that clean pain is facing what we don’t want to face and what we reflexively avoid, it becomes clearer that backlash to diversity, equity, or inclusion isn’t really about any of those individual elements. It isn’t about Critical Race Theory, wokeness, or whatever hot-button topic conservatives are shouting about. Instead, the uproar surrounding DEI is about the relentless discomfort of dirty pain.
SHRM’s decision to eliminate “equity” from its DEI terminology is a prime example of this avoidance that dirty pain evokes. SHRM’s efforts to acquiesce also exemplify what I call the “Red Rover Effect:” a pattern where initial solidarity from well-intentioned institutions and individuals turns to apathy when they encounter discomfort and the daunting magnitude of the task ahead. By removing the very element that addresses systemic disparities, SHRM is sidestepping the uncomfortable but necessary work of achieving true equity. This move not only weakens DEI initiatives but also perpetuates the dirty pain that hinders genuine progress.
I don’t acknowledge dirty pain and the harm that white supremacy has on white people as an excuse, but rather to encourage all of us to work together to heal. The acknowledgment of dirty pain is an invitation to fight for a world where all of us can thrive.
