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Amina AlTai is an executive coach, leadership trainer, and chronic illness advocate. She has partnered with companies such as Google, Snap, Outdoor Voices, Chief, and Roku, and been featured in goop, Forbes, Well+Good, NBC, CBS, and The New York Times…
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You dream of quitting a toxic job, pivoting to a new career, or starting your own business. But there’s a financial reality to such a move: can you afford to earn less?
In 2021, I quit a job as an executive at a tech company. I pivoted into content marketing and journalism, and, initially, I was earning about one-third of my previous salary. But I had spent months looking at our household budget, and was prepared to earn even less.
When you’re determined to make a change, you’ll look at your finances differently. You should calculate your “freedom number” and understand the changes you need to make in your budget.
Keep in mind that your freedom number is not your final destination. It’s a transitional change in your income to pursue the career you want.
Why your freedom number matters
Your freedom number is the bare minimum you need to cover your essentials: rent/mortgage, groceries, insurance, utilities, etc. It’s not the same as what you’re spending to support your current lifestyle.
Calculating your freedom number forces you to think about what you’re willing to give up—even temporarily.
Let’s say you’re earning $100,000 today and think you need to earn $80,000. But once you go through the numbers and cut everything nonessential, you might find that the number is far below $80,000. Knowing that makes it easier to navigate a career change, because you know what you need to get by.
The bare minimum is your freedom number.
Closing the gap in your freedom number
If you don’t think you’ll earn enough to cover your monthly expenses, there are ways to close the gap between your income and your freedom number.
You might build up some savings and draw from that account when you make your move. Or you could supplement your income with a side hustle.
When I first changed careers, I took a new full-time job and freelanced on the side. The combination of my new salary and my freelance earnings helped me reach my freedom number. It meant working in the evenings and on weekends, but it was worth it to make the change.
Keep in mind that a lower income might be temporary. Within eight months of starting a new career, I took a new job at a much higher salary. I just needed to get a bit of experience on my resume, and then many more doors opened for me.
As you settle into your career change and earn more, you can add back the things you enjoyed about your lifestyle. The temporary squeeze is worth it to find a freedom number that makes a lot of career options possible.
When you become a parent, your concept of “free time” gets redefined in the most brutal way. You start fantasizing about solo grocery runs. You get excited when a dentist appointment means sitting in a chair in silence. And don’t even get me started on the thrill of closing (and locking) the bathroom door.
Parenting swallows every spare minute like a hungry hippo. Between permission slips, dinner planning, bedtime negotiations, and locating whatever oddly specific object your kid needs for school tomorrow, your own needs don’t make the list. Add in the demands of a job or trying to keep a career from flatlining while your toddler wipes yogurt on your Zoom shirt and suddenly “me time” feels like a myth.
But here’s the thing no one tells you: carving out time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s survival. And it doesn’t mean you love your family any less. It just means you also love yourself, which—fun fact—your kids need to see more of.
Step One: Ditch the Martyr Act. It’s Not a Good Look
Somewhere along the line, we were sold the idea that the best parents sacrifice everything. They pour every ounce into their families and never, ever ask for a refill. But let’s be real. Exhausted, resentful parents are not fun to live with. They don’t make great partners. They don’t make patient caregivers. And they’re one burnt pancake away from a breakdown.
What actually helps our kids? Seeing us take care of ourselves. Seeing us value our time, our dreams. Seeing us rest. Yes. Rest. It’s not lazy. It’s necessary. You can’t run on empty and function like a human being.
Step Two: You Have to Take the Time. No One’s Handing It Out
Time won’t tap you on the shoulder and say, “Hey! Here’s an hour to write/take a nap/go on a walk.” You have to go after it like it’s the last slice of pizza and everyone’s pretending not to be hungry.
You may have to get up a little earlier (I know, but hear me out). Or coordinate with a partner or fellow parent for a kid-swap. And yes, that might mean blocking off your work calendar with an appointment that’s really just you taking a sanity stroll around the block or sitting in your car to eat a croissant in peace. That’s okay. We’ve all done it. No guilt.
Step Three: Redefine What “Self-Care” Means for You
Not everyone’s version of self-care involves face masks or golf. For some, it’s a quiet workout. For others, uninterrupted time on a passion project. Maybe it’s updating your résumé or watching something without talking animals.
Sometimes self-care is messy. It’s writing one paragraph with a baby monitor on one side and laundry on the other. It might mean finishing a work project with a hot coffee and zero interruptions because work can be fulfilling too (when you’re not doing it under duress). It’s texting a friend, “I need an hour. Can we trade off next week?” It’s choosing yourself again and again.
Step Four: Guilt is Lying to You
Let’s talk about guilt. That ever-present gremlin whispering, “You’re missing quality time,” or “You should be organizing the closet.” Guilt isn’t your inner compass. It’s your inner saboteur. Doing something for yourself doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your family. It means you’re showing up as a more grounded, fulfilled version of yourself. Even if that fulfillment comes from finishing a presentation in silence or eating lunch without someone asking for a bite. And if your kids miss you for an hour? They’ll survive. More importantly—they’ll see what it looks like to honor your own needs.
Step Five: Let Them See You Do It
Kids don’t just listen. They watch. If we constantly run ourselves ragged and call it love, they’ll think that’s what they’re supposed to do too. Let them see you say no. Let them hear, “I’m doing something for me right now.” Let them know work matters to you too, whether it’s because you love it or because it pays for the chicken nuggets. That’s not abandonment. That’s modeling emotional intelligence and boundaries which are two things they’ll thank you for. Well, probably much, much later, but still.)
