Want to get ahead at work? Try developing meaningful relationships with coworkers. Data from Gallup found that having a workplace best friend helps you be more engaged, accountable, and satisfied on the job. Allies can also assist in achieving your career goals, says Yiannis Gavrielides, CEO of the networking app Covve.
“As you build trust, a relationship becomes less transactional, and it becomes fruitful,” says Gavrielides, cohost of the podcast “Wired to Socialize: The Science of Networking.” “If I understand your personal goals, then I will be more willing to help you pursue them. And if you’re someone I’m collaborating with, it can become reciprocal and create a big effect.”
Unfortunately, building those relationships isn’t easy. Another Gallup study found that 60% of people reported being emotionally detached at work. Post-pandemic-onset work norms and fewer opportunities for in-person collaboration can lead you to dislike or even hate your colleagues, says Gavrielides.
“If you feel isolated, you may feel like you’re not included in the team,” he explains. “Isolation creates feelings of resentment. You may also feel like you’re being treated unequally. Coupling the feeling of isolation and not belonging with the impression of favoritism can create a negative emotion toward a team member.”
How to Get Along
Though remote work can provide helpful space in some tricky relationships, it can also hinder efficient communication. “In person, you get the benefit of body language, such as subtle touches or movements that create a feeling of trust,” says Gavrielides. “If you start at a job remotely and are 100% online, you lack that initial depth of interaction, which could create misunderstandings.”
You probably won’t genuinely like all your coworkers, but it’s important to remove misunderstandings that can harm otherwise good relationships. To avoid miscommunication, start by confirming what someone says instead of assuming you understand their intentions.
“Many times, you have to put extra emphasis on repeating and paraphrasing what was said to give the other person the satisfaction that they were listened to and to confirm the idea to them before you answer the question and respond,” says Gavrielides.
When you remove the chance of a misunderstanding, you may uncover situations you need to address before they grow into something bigger and lead to greater resentment.
“Maybe you do have to confront your coworker,” says Gavrielides. “Or you may discover that there is something happening internally within the company that you need to better understand. You may have to confirm company policies with your manager. It’s important to understand where the feeling comes from, so you can address it.”
What Companies Can Do
While getting along with coworkers has personal payoffs, companies also have a vested interest in harmony within teams. “Churn and turnover is high due to discontent,” says Gavrielides. “Organizations are spending so much time and attention and money in recruitment and training. Understanding the situation is important from a retention and productivity perspective.”
While remote work isn’t going to go away, organizations need to make sure their culture isn’t creating an environment that fosters misunderstandings. Gavrielides recommends promoting a workplace that invites social interactions.
“One company created a pub on the premises to encourage people to go for a beer after work,” he says. “Creating more interactions that have a social element or an unstructured agenda help people open up and exchange more information about themselves.”
It’s also important to spot potential rifts between employees. Gavrielides suggests that managers conduct regular satisfaction surveys. In addition, collecting performance feedback, such as 360-degree sessions, can help leaders pick up on dissatisfaction that used to be easier to spot incidentally in the office.
Finally, companies should ensure that their policies are explicit to help avoid the negative feeling of unfairness. For example, clearly define criteria for promotions. When projects are assigned, add reasons why a specific employee was chosen. And make sure managers carve out one-on-one time with every employee, especially those working remotely.
“It’s of paramount importance for every one of us to understand the limitations of online communication, so that we’re much more careful on how we communicate, especially around harder subjects,” says Gavrielides. “Building relationships should be considered the responsibility of every one of us, because we all benefit.”
