For nearly three decades, emotional intelligence has been one of the strongest predictors of workplace success. While technical expertise and cognitive ability still matter, the skills that set high performers apart are deeply human: self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to build healthy relationships.
Employers have taken notice. Research cited by Harvard Business School found that 71% of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when evaluating candidates, while studies from TalentSmart have identified emotional intelligence as a stronger predictor of workplace performance than many traditional measures of intelligence.
The reason is simple: Technical skills may get you hired, but emotional intelligence determines how effectively you work with people, handle pressure, navigate conflict, and lead others.
In my work as a leadership coach, I’ve observed six practices that consistently set emotionally intelligent employees and leaders apart.
1. They pause before reacting
Most people become defensive when faced with criticism, conflict, or emotionally charged situations. Emotionally intelligent people do something different. They pause.
Because they understand what triggers them emotionally, they’re able to step back, gain perspective, and choose a response instead of an impulsive reaction. They listen without judgment, seek to understand before being understood, and avoid escalating situations that are already headed south.
This ability to move from reaction to response is one of the clearest signs of emotional maturity.
2. They display authenticity
Many employees and their managers wear a mask at work. They hide their feelings, avoid difficult conversations, and carefully manage impressions. Emotionally intelligent people don’t play that game.
Whether they’re dealing with a difficult customer, a challenging project, or a tense workplace issue, they show up as the same person. They communicate honestly, acknowledge emotions appropriately, and build trust because others know exactly who they’re dealing with.
3. They think before they speak
One of the most practical tools for emotional intelligence is what neuroscientists call the “six-second pause.” Taking a pause can help us manage our emotions, slow down our reactions, and give us time for our feelings to calm before we respond. Even counting silently to six while taking a breath gives our thinking brain time to catch up and breaks the habit of automatic reaction.
Experts explain that when emotions intensify, our brains release chemicals that can temporarily impair our ability to think clearly. These emotional chemicals typically last about six seconds in our brains and bodies. When we experience strong emotions, we often continue producing more of the molecules that induce these feelings. However, if we pause, the flood of chemicals can subside. This brief pause can make a significant difference—it can help transform a potentially damaging response into one that strengthens our relationships.
So, before firing off an angry email, making a sarcastic remark in a meeting, or responding defensively to feedback, emotionally intelligent people create space between stimulus and response. That space allows for better judgment, better communication, and better outcomes.
4. They handle difficult situations with composure
Anyone can remain calm when things are going well. The true test of emotional intelligence shows up when customers are upset, colleagues are frustrated, deadlines are missed, or tensions run high.
Emotionally intelligent leaders maintain their composure without becoming passive. They know how to de-escalate conflict, establish healthy boundaries, and guide conversations toward solutions rather than blame.
Their calm presence often becomes the stabilizing force others rely on in times of uncertainty.
5. They practice self-control
Daniel Goleman, whose pioneering work brought emotional intelligence into mainstream leadership thinking, describes self-control as one of the defining traits of effective leaders.
As Goleman explains:
“Reasonable people—the ones who maintain control over their emotions—are the people who can sustain safe, fair environments. In these settings, drama is very low and productivity is very high. Top performers flock to these organizations and are not apt to leave them.”
Don’t mistake self-control for suppressing emotions. It’s really about managing them effectively. How can you tell when you exhibit self-control? You remain present during stressful situations; you avoid impulsive decisions and stay focused on what matters most. Over time, you become more dependable, someone who can be counted on when pressure mounts.
6. They see the whole picture
Emotionally intelligent people possess a high degree of self-awareness, enabling them to recognize their own emotions and those of others.
Instead of viewing situations through a narrow lens, they consider multiple perspectives. To do that, they ask better questions, make more thoughtful decisions, and avoid the trap of assuming they have all the answers.
In today’s workplace, where collaboration and connection matter as much as expertise, that observation may be more relevant than ever.
What does all this mean today?
The workplace has changed. Success is no longer determined solely by what you know. It’s increasingly determined by how well you work with people.
If you want to accelerate your career—or help your team perform at a higher level—start by strengthening your emotional intelligence.
Ask yourself: Which of these six traits comes naturally to me, and which ones need work? Your answer may reveal the single biggest opportunity for growth in your professional life.
—Marcel Schwantes
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This article originally appeared on Fast Company’s sister website, Inc.com.
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