If you’ve ever faced a layoff, you’re familiar with the emotional roller coaster that follows. After logging out of Slack, shutting down your laptop, and saying goodbye to colleagues, one of the most challenging aspects of job loss can be the isolation and loneliness that follows.
As your daily routine changes, it’s natural to feel uncertain about the future, stressed about your finances, and to miss the familiar aspects of your previous job. It can be especially lonely when your former coworkers no longer reach out to you.
Janna Koretz, a clinical psychologist and expert on leadership and mental health, explains that if you’re not hearing from your coworkers after a layoff, it can be difficult to know why.
“I think people feel really awkward when their coworkers get laid off. They’re not sure how to approach that. They feel bad, they don’t know what to do, so they just avoid the situation,” she says.
Other times, Koretz says, it might be because your coworkers are still in it—they’re still focused on their jobs and aren’t necessarily thinking about the person who left.
On your end, you might wonder, Why am I lonely? I know so many people. “But knowing people isn’t the same as being connected to them,” Koretz says.
Navigating loneliness after a layoff can be especially tough, adding to an already challenging situation. Here are four strategies to help you cope with loneliness and move forward after a job loss:
1. Know that you aren’t alone
On social media, there’s this perception that everyone has it together. We look at others posting about promotions or professional success and think, Everyone else is moving ahead in their careers and I’m the only one stuck without a job.
Koretz emphasizes that every person has struggles—even the ones who show only their most polished side on LinkedIn or Instagram. “Everyone goes through times where they don’t feel great,” she says.
Many people have lost a job before, been passed over for a promotion, or had to take a step back to care for a family member. So, even though it may feel like it, you’re not alone in your struggle.
When looking to find community, “Reaching out to [another] colleague who has been laid off is a great way to find comfort and advice from someone who truly knows how it feels,” Koretz says.
2. Reach out first
If you aren’t hearing from your former colleagues, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t reach out first.
“If you were really close to someone before, chances are they really like you as a person and would like to continue that relationship in some capacity,” Koretz says. “Maintaining relationships with old coworkers is no different than maintaining relationships with longtime friends. You’re just looking to foster connection whenever and however you can.”
When meeting up with your old colleagues, often in-person meetings are more memorable, because so many people are working from home. Additionally, if you’re hoping your network will send job opportunities your way, these in-person meetings can help keep you top of mind.
If you reach out to your old colleagues and they don’t respond, try not to feel too bad, Koretz advises. “You know that you tried and that you did your part,” she says.
3. Build connections outside of work
Once the initial shock wears off, you may find that you miss working closely with others. It can be hard to feel connected if you’re spending most of your time applying for jobs by yourself.
Now is a great time to prioritize building professional connections beyond your workplace—and even outside your industry. Establishing your personal network can be helpful, too. These are people you know outside of your career, like friends or neighbors.
“Not only can you find interesting jobs that way, but you also reconnect with people you’ve been connected with at different stages of your life,” Koretz says, noting that how you connect with your personal network might vary based on your “time, location, and other constraints . . . [but] showing up is really the thing that matters most.”
You might volunteer, or explore old hobbies. Both of these activities allow you to meet with new and old connections, and help you fight loneliness.
Think of things you valued in the past, like an extracurricular activity you enjoyed in college, Koretz suggests, adding that exploring new interests can also be beneficial. “I recommend finding new groups or places to go, like a gym class, where you can meet a couple of people,” she says.
Whether it’s joining a fitness class, pursuing a creative hobby, or volunteering, these activities can foster a sense of community and purpose. Volunteering is an especially good option because it can help you feel like part of a community through helping others.
4. Reevaluate your “why”
As you look for new work, reevaluating your “why” and reassessing your values can be beneficial.
Often people don’t realize that the job they had was incongruent with what’s actually important to them. Maybe they haven’t had the opportunity to explore what’s important, or their priorities have changed over time, explains Koretz.
“For example, a lot of people say, ‘Well, family is important to me,’ and it’s like, well, why is that? And that may seem like a really silly question, but really, those details are important to figuring out what you want to do next,” she says.
“If your ‘why’ is about connection, you might decide to look for a career that involves working closely with people, such as consulting or nursing,” Koretz adds. “If your ‘why’ is about achievement, seeking out a career in litigation or medicine might be fitting.”
When determining your next steps, it’s important to ask yourself “why” and reassess your values. This reflection can help you consider what you truly want to pursue next.
Navigating loneliness after a layoff can be challenging, but it’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone. By reaching out, building new connections, and reassessing your values, you can find a way forward.
