“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” —Howard Thurman
That quote from Howard Thurman really resonates with me because there was a period in my career when I wasn’t living it.
I hated my job.
That was an odd notion because I had enjoyed my career and had held numerous leadership positions. This job brought me back into transportation after a stint in local government. The pay was great and the head of the company pointed to the general manager’s chair and promised I would soon be sitting there.
It never happened.
Instead, the years went by, and my responsibilities shifted and then shrank until I was doing almost nothing I enjoyed. I became essentially a “paper pusher” doing administrative minutiae and reports.
The environment also was stifling, bureaucratic and micromanaged. Once a customer scolded me in a large staff meeting because the tail of my necktie was askew and ordered me to leave the meeting until I straightened it. It was humiliation designed to reinforce a culture of fear and control. Even employee memos required their approval before being posted. They also laughingly reminded senior staff that seven words, “please remove Paul Comfort from this contract,” could cost us our jobs.
Other opportunities came, including one to become a CEO. But I was making too much money to leave. I learned the hard way: golden handcuffs are still handcuffs.
I had always said I would never take a job just for the money. Yet here I was, staying in one I hated for exactly that reason. I felt trapped.
This experience led me to develop four questions that I or anyone else in a similar situation can ask themselves as guideposts:
1. Are your talents actually being used?
Just being competent at something doesn’t mean you are well suited for it.
My job used some of my administrative abilities but barely touched my greatest strength, working with people. I could do the paperwork, but it didn’t energize me. Ask yourself: Which of my strongest abilities and interests does this job use? Which are sitting on the shelf?
2. Do you feel respected?
I didn’t need constant praise. I needed reasonable autonomy and professional treatment.
Instead, I felt diminished, micromanaged and at times humiliated in front of my own staff. Even my boss knew basically what was going on, but often said something to the effect of, “Work isn’t fun. If it was fun, it wouldn’t be called work.”
Work doesn’t have to be “fun” every minute. But a workplace shouldn’t diminish you as a person.
Ask yourself whether the people around you trust your judgement, respect your contribution and allow you to do the work you were hired to do.
3. Can you grow here, or are you just aging in place?
I had been promised advancement, but the years passed and the path disappeared. Eventually, my own company wrote me out of the business plan for the following year without anyone telling me.
Growth doesn’t always mean promotion. It can mean greater responsibility, new skills, challenging projects or expanded influence.
The question is simpler: Am I still being challenged? Am I still growing?
Remember, there is a big difference between accumulating years of experience and repeating the same year of experience over and over.
4. Are you trading your passion for a paycheck?
We all have bills to pay. Walking away from significant compensation isn’t a theoretical exercise when you have real financial responsibilities.
I convinced myself I couldn’t afford to take $50,000 less for another opportunity that would have used both my skills and my passions.
So, ask yourself: Has compensation become the only convincing argument for staying? And what am I giving up in exchange for this paycheck?
But here’s the important part: The ultimate answer isn’t necessarily to quit.
I didn’t.
Instead, I looked for a way to bring something I loved into my existing job responsibilities.
I volunteered to teach new employee orientation every Monday. For four hours each week, I got out of my office and worked with people—meeting new employees, explaining the big picture, answering their questions and helping them understand the organization. All things I love to do.
For those four hours, I was in my bliss.
Suddenly Monday became my favorite day of the work week.
That experience taught me that before abandoning a job, try redesigning part of it. Volunteer for a different assignment, ask for new responsibilities or shadow someone in another department. Use your time inside the organization to understand how it works and prepare yourself for the next opportunity.
Later, when I became CEO of the MTA (Maryland Transit Administration), I remembered that lesson and allowed some employees to create roles around what they were particularly good at and in which they were interested. When their abilities, interests and the organization’s needs aligned, everybody benefited.
That intersection is what I now think of as your X Factor.
Look backward through your life. What activities have consistently lit you up? What makes time stand still? Then consider your abilities and skills. What do people consistently tell you you’re good at?
Now ask: Where have those two things overlapped?
Those moments are clues. And the clues are already scattered throughout your life.
Your life has already drawn your personal treasure map. The challenge is recognizing it and having the courage to follow it toward work that uses what you are good at to do something that makes you come alive.
