I’ve always been a crier—when I’m sad, when I’m happy, when I’m frustrated: tears. So, you can imagine my struggle as I entered corporate America. Waterworks and vulnerability aren’t exactly welcomed in the workforce.
And yet as an advertising executive, first in New York, now in Los Angeles, working on some of the largest and well-known brands, there was no controlling my tears. I grew to hate this part of myself . . . until I became a manager myself.
Suddenly, I’m the person others come to for a good cry—peers, high-powered friends, employees, and even clients. As it turns out, I’ve surrounded myself with quite a few criers. In fact, I know more people who have admitted to crying at work than not, and yet a study showed that 70% think tears can have a negative professional impact.
In my experience, outwardly emotionally people are among the highest performers in their fields. Not because they’re overworked or overwhelmed, but because they can access a deeper level of intelligence that the job doesn’t necessarily require but it benefits from.
Emotions make us better at the job
Crying is often misunderstood as a sign of weakness; however, research suggests the opposite. Unsurprisingly, individuals who cry more readily also score higher on measures of emotional intelligence, meaning they are better at understanding and managing their emotions, as well as those of others. This emotional acuity translates to effective leadership, the ability to navigate complex workplace dynamics, and stronger interpersonal relationships.
On the flip side, watching someone else cry also has benefits. Because crying releases oxytocin, a hormone known to foster trust, empathy, and social bonding, just simply seeing someone cry can make us kinder, more understanding, and more willing to help. In the context of a team, an employee who’s comfortable expressing vulnerability might inadvertently create a more supportive, collaborative environment.
Crying is good for business
A virtuous cycle of tears may be just what our businesses need to thrive. Business is built on human capital and powered by indispensable relationships. It’s the fuel of collaboration and creativity that is in such high demand, for agencies and clients alike. It’s the most attuned employeest—the ones with the intellectual drive plus the emotional availability—who should be at the helm.
Consider some of the most well-known leaders who have been publicly vulnerable: Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, who shared her grief after the death of her husband, during a company town hall. Jacinda Ardern, former prime minister of New Zealand, who gave a tearful reflection of her time leading her country as she stepped down from office. Or more recently, the Kelce brothers, as Jason sobbed through his retirement announcement from the NFL, acknowledging Travis who watched on, also in tears, for his unwavering support and love.
Their displays of vulnerability are a refreshing contrast to their titles, jobs, and gender. It’s the reason these stand out in our zeitgeist (that, and because they don’t happen as much as I’m advocating they should).
While these were monumental moments that clearly warranted an emotional response, the mundane moments of expression should be just as welcomed. Because for politicians, executives, athletes, employees, and you, tears are a reminder of just how human we all are. And humans don’t just feel during the big, important times. We feel all the time, even when it feels inconvenient . . . like at the office.
Embracing vulnerability at work
I’m not suggesting we start every meeting sharing our deepest, darkest feelings. But I am suggesting occasional and appropriate moments of vulnerability. Creating a workplace where emotions are embraced requires behavior modeling. We need to cultivate an environment of psychological safety, where employees feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. One of the best pieces of advice I received as I was helping my team navigate a challenging time was actually to be more vulnerable. Intuitively, give vulnerability to gain vulnerability.
So, a decade and a half into my career, and I’m still crying at the office—most recently, just a couple weeks ago. It doesn’t matter what it was about; quite frankly, I don’t even remember. But it was with a colleague who created the safest space, and that’s what I remember. Instead of rejecting this part of me, after a lifetime of practice, I embrace it as my superpower. Because in a business world with an endless supply of stoicism, the demand for vulnerability makes it that much more valuable. Let’s put these tears to good use—as a beacon of empathy, a bridge to connection, a catalyst for creativity.
Now pass me a tissue.
