News & Insight

The CEOs of HP, Microsoft, Accenture and Intel shared their views about the new future of work.

Editor’s Note: Each week Maynard Webb, former CEO of LiveOps and the former COO of eBay, will offer candid, practical, and sometimes surprising advice to entrepreneurs and founders. To submit a question, write to Webb at dearfound…

I can remember having anxiety about the first day of school as early as the second grade. This wasn’t anxiety about late-night bedtimes coming to an end, or about my mom delivering me at the school and driving off, or over who would sit with me at lunch.

The fluttering in my tummy and sweaty palms all had to do with my name.

On that very first day, parents and kids would cram into the gym for class assignments. The principal would welcome everyone, and teachers would come up and announce who was in their classes.

And I waited and waited for that terrible moment.

“Maa . . . Ma? Di? Ma-hoo?” my  teacher would stammer out.

A short pause, followed by one last attempt: “Ma-hoo?”

After witnessing such a frustrated display, I would run up to the front waving frantically.

“That’s okay, that’s okay—just call me Mita!”

I felt the need to make sure that they were comfortable with me and with my name. I didn’t even bother to teach them how to pronounce it; I just chopped it.

Many people don’t know this, but my full name is Madhumita Mallick. I have spent much of my life trying to hide it. While my name was a source of pride, part of my identity, and represented my heritage, it was also a source of anxiety, embarrassment, and shame.

In the third grade, my teacher couldn’t pronounce Mita, never mind the full name. She thought it would be fun to call me Pita (“Like pita pockets,” she said). In college, my closest friends gave me the nickname Mahu after our calculus professor called me Mahu Mallick. He didn’t want to be corrected.

“Honestly, go by Mita Mallick,” the career counselor coached me, striking through my name in red on my résumé. “No one can pronounce this, you won’t get callbacks.” But it was my full name. I wanted to reclaim and embrace my name, which was what my expensive liberal arts education taught me.

At my first corporate job, I found myself back in those first days of school. My full name was simply too confusing for people.

“I thought your name is Mita?  I can’t find you in the distribution list.” “I walked around looking for you and didn’t see Mita on any of the cubes.” “Why don’t you just go by Mita?”

Then there was my manager who thought he had the best suggestion—”Mohammed.” From that moment on, he called me by this left-field title, simply because he could.

“Mohammed, did you pull that Nielsen data the team asked for?” “Mohammed, can you join us for the 4 p.m. call?” “Mohammed, make sure the agency knows to dial in for the kickoff.”

I responded to a name that wasn’t mine for close to six months before I left. And before I did, I wish I had just said one thing, “Call me by my name.”

One of the biggest microaggressions that can take place is the repeated mispronunciation of someone’s name. Or in my case, completely changing someone’s name. When my boss created this new nickname for me, that served as a form of bullying and harassment.

Here are five ways in which we can all ensure we are honoring people’s names.

Ask people from the start how to pronounce their name

Even if it’s the second or third time you are meeting them, you can say, “It’s important for me to pronounce your name correctly, and I know I asked you last time as well. But can you spell your name and say it for me phonetically please?” This not only shows that you want to be able to pronounce someone’s name correctly, but also signals to them that you care deeply and want to build a mutually respectful relationship.

Ask others how to pronounce your colleague’s name

Sometimes, we may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to ask the person directly or too much time has passed. In these cases, don’t feel sheepish to ask another colleague or a friend how to pronounce the person’s name correctly.

Correct others when you hear someone’s name mispronounced

If someone has mispronounced a colleague or a friend’s name, please be an advocate and stand up for them. “I am not sure if you realize this. I have heard you on a few occasions mispronounce Mita’s name. The correct pronunciation is ‘mee-ta.’”

Use online tools to correctly pronounce someone’s name

One of the best innovations this year is LinkedIn’s name pronunciation feature. By using the tool, you can listen to the recording on the person’s profile to hear how they say their name. So you don’t mispronounce or try to figure out how you avoid saying their name in a conversation completely.

Don’t assign nicknames without their permission

If someone is called Jennifer, don’t call them Jen without asking. Don’t assume Matthew is Matt, especially if the individual hasn’t given you permission to refer to them by a nickname. And please don’t create a separate, unrelated nickname for them (in my case, “Mohammed”). Moreover, if you see someone creating an unwanted nickname for someone else, please intervene. Prevent the nickname from being used further and step up as an advocate. When you see something, say something.

Since the moment I had been “renamed” by my former manager, I have moved forward and gone by Mita in email, within organizational charts, and at any work function/place where names mattered. For all “the areas of opportunity” I worked on to have a successful career in corporate America, I am reminded of my name in many other areas of my life: my passport, my wedding album, and my driver’s license.

After so many years of being known as Mita, I don’t think I will ever reclaim my full name. At times, I have moments of nostalgia, but I don’t mind them since I love who Mita has become and the name she uses. While I won’t go back to Madhumita, I will do these things.

I’ll tell you I am bilingual. I’ll eat egg curry during (now virtual) lunches. I’ll tell you that I am off for Diwali. I’ll wear mehndi on my hands and Indian bangles on my wrists. I’ll tell you I’m American.

I’ll tell you if you mispronounce my name, and I’ll also tell you if you mispronounce anyone else’s name too.

And in case you are wondering my full name, well, it’s pronounced “ma-doo-me-tha.”

Mita Mallick is a diversity and inclusion leader. Right now she is the head of diversity and cross-cultural marketing at Unilever.

Whether it’s our daily routine, our team’s structure, or our ability to remain productive outside of the office, the pandemic has fundamentally transformed many aspects of our lives. And while many of these changes have been negative—including layoffs, business closures, illness, and lack of childcare—some people have implemented positive lifestyle changes, too.

From connecting with neighbors to feeling more confident in setting boundaries, six executives share the surprising new habits they’ve found during the pandemic, and, why they plan to keep them going once the storm has passed:

Embracing a more fluid schedule

With her kids away from school and still in need of care (and entertainment), Deborah LaBudde had to accept that her day was going to be interrupted. As the CEO and founder of jewelry brand Memo, she was used to a rigid work schedule to keep her business streamlined. But rather than sticking to these strict personal guidelines, she leaned into the uncertainty and gave herself—and her family—flexibility.

Even though her board gave her marching orders to push forward aggressively, she decided to keep perspective. “I tried [to focus] more positively about the value of being with family and the excitement that I felt for seizing an important opportunity for the company,” she says. “I learned that in order to not let the anxiety of running a business in my ‘new normal’, I had to let go and not try to control every aspect of my schedule.”

While it was perhaps a forced lesson in giving up control, LaBudde has learned it’s okay to have a more fluid day-to-day. “It not only removes a fair amount of stress, but it also forces me to prioritize the most important things at home and at work. When I’m able to balance the two, I’m more productive, happy, and successful.”

Connecting with neighbors

Like many others, when Claudia Allwood realized there might be a scarcity in online grocery ordering, she went into action. She’s no stranger to organizing teams, especially since she’s the vice president of digital and brand marketing for Kinship. Her circle of family and friends would ask each other if they needed anything from the grocery store when they ventured outside. While it may not seem like much, it’s provided a cohesive, supportive community during a dark time that’s expanded far past trips to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.

Recently she discovered a Black-owned pie shop and bakery that delivered to her neighborhood. “Pooling together friends, we have placed orders for four different households at once on more than one occasion, helping both contribute to small businesses while spreading delivery fees amongst one another,” she says.

She hopes this sense of neighborhood unity will continue even when life returns to its faster pace. “It gives us a break from our routines to think about each other and find a way to connect to share what we’ve collectively purchased,” she says. “It makes me want to share discoveries, shop more locally, and with intention. It’s a change I look forward to keeping—though I should probably start moving away from a biweekly pie habit.”

Celebrating everyday moments

As the pandemic unfolded, Elizabeth Fauerso, the chief marketing officer at Pearl, a mixed-use space in San Antonio, asked herself “How are we going to stay engaged and energized?” Though she’s gotten used to it, Fauerso’s not a fan of working remotely, since she enjoys getting up and heading into the world every day. Without the ability to go into headquarters, take her kid to school, or eat at a restaurant, she found herself spending day in and day out in her pajamas. When her daughter Josie started opting for long periods of nudity, she thought it might be time to change their quarantine habits.

“We decided to get dressed every morning—like really dressed up, and make a game of it,” she says. “Josie has started creating an accessories table and a ‘fashion area’ in her room where she constructs a morning look, a lunch look, and a Happy Hour look.’”

Fauerso subscribed to Rent the Runway as a way to have fun—and experiment with looks she usually wouldn’t wear. Now, this small ritual has become a celebration of life that has become meaningful to her family. And it’s encouraged them to bond in other ways, too, such as decorating the table with fresh flowers on Friday, or decking out the whole house for the Fourth of July.

“Dressing for dinner, using the ‘nice china’ regularly, treating the time we spend together with as much importance as we treat our time with other people—that has been one of the unique gifts of this really heartbreaking and challenging time,” she says. “We have learned to value the time we spend with our own family and treat that time with respect.”

Dancing more

Every day in Nerissa Zhang’s household, during the inevitable midafternoon slump, a family member ventures to the speaker, pulls up a playlist, and turns the music way up. Then, no matter what everyone’s doing, they pause and have a family dance party in their living room.

Along with her husband, Zhang runs their company The Bright App, and since the pandemic started, they’ve been cooped up with their three children, ranging from 1.5 to 10 years old. She’s been feeling more exhausted than before, but her kids have more energy than ever. One afternoon, she tried a dance party to help them burn some of it off. She thought it would be a one-time thing, but the next day, her middle child asked if he could pick the next song.

“I think the whole family feels much less anxious about a summer with fewer fun activities to do out and about since we’ve started our new routine,” she says. “It’s been a perfect remedy in our time of need, but we’re definitely going to keep up our afternoon dance routines when we can after this crisis is over.”

Letting balls drop

Sometimes a lifestyle change isn’t something tangible, but a shift in perspective. For Whitney Hutchinson, the group vice president of data science and analytics at marketing agency Razorfish, the newfound ability to let herself off the hook has been a game-changer. At the beginning of quarantine, she made a large list of what she wanted to accomplish while quarantining: clean out the closet, go on weekly hikes, wake up early, expand her garden, spend more time with her team at work, be a better mentor, and ride her Peloton five times a week.

But she quickly discovered all this wasn’t possible with meetings from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. and kids at home. Rather than putting more pressure on herself, she’s let it be okay when one of the many balls she is juggling drops. “It’s okay to have that second glass of wine each night and put off the diet and not beat myself up about it in the morning,” she says. “Life is bigger than my to-do list—bigger than the expectations I set for myself—and now more than ever, a lot is out of my control.”

Now, she prioritizes what is essential for her job and for her family, and she tackles what she can. If something slips by, she acknowledges it, forgives it, and moves forward.

Not working through dinner time

Though Sandra Duff cycled in and out of changes during lockdown—baking frenzies, workout out kicks, adopting a puppy—there’s been one habit that’s stuck. (Along with the dog, of course.) And it’s one she has attempted to master throughout her career without success: setting clear, firm boundaries between being on and being off. Like clockwork, she is away from email from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.—no exceptions. As the senior vice president of strategy activation and operations at Jackman Reinvents, she checks in on client needs around 9 p.m., but then is away from email (and text) for the evening.

At first, the shift came out of pure exhaustion. She was home, sure, but her children weren’t getting any more time with her. “Instead I was locked upstairs in my bedroom with my laptop on the ironing board and churning through Zoom meetings all day with just enough time for the occasional bathroom break. I realized I needed to create an artificial boundary and it just stuck.”

Saying “no”—without apology

While the pandemic has taught many professionals about their boundaries, Kelly Chase, the director of content marketing at Fracture, has put those lessons into action. With an extremely demanding job and family health hurdles at home, she has learned to say “no”—without an apology or guilt-trip follow-up. To balance all of her responsibilities, she had to put first things first: staying focused and productive, caring for loved ones.

“I don’t like disappointing people, and having had many amazing mentors along the way, I feel obligated to pay it forward and help other people—especially other women—out with their careers whenever I can. However, the pandemic has made me get real about how much gas I actually have in the tank on any given day. Sometimes I just don’t have any to spare. And that’s okay,” she says.

Some examples of her lifestyle change in action? Saying “no” to the after-work Zoom happy hour, helping someone with their business plan, taking a 7:30 a.m. meeting on a Saturday, and so on.

“I will definitely keep this up post-pandemic,” she says. “Once I realized how strong my compulsion is to say ‘yes’ when my mind and body are screaming ‘no’, it made me take a step back. I’m learning to separate my self-worth from my ability to do things for other people. I am worthwhile and worth taking care of on my own. And the more I learn to put my own physical and mental well-being first, the more I actually can take care of others.”

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