A few years ago, I did my first interview as a C-level executive. A recruiter had contacted me about a global revenue role for a company I admired. I wasn’t actively seeking a new position, but the job description aligned with my career aspirations, so I was compelled to consider a change.
I was only a few questions into the exchange before the recruiter abruptly went off-topic.
“Listen, I have to ask. Do you have any kids? How old are they? This job requires travel, and I need to know that you can really do that.”
I was stunned by the question. Certainly, it was not the first time I had been asked an inappropriate question in a job interview, but those previous instances had happened much earlier in my tech career. Back then, people would ask me things like, “How old are you? You look too young to do this job.” Or “This job will require us to travel together. Is your husband going to be OK with that?”
In the past, I begrudgingly answered all the questions I was asked because I thought that was what was required for a woman to get ahead in tech. But to be asked a question about my ability to travel because I was a mom, after years on the road and proven success, was more than I was willing to bear. I ended the interview promptly.
As it turns out, my experience is unfortunately not uncommon. In a recent survey by The Muse Group and RecruitmentMarketing.com, 42% of U.S. women reported encountering gender-biased or inappropriate questions during a job interview. In the southeast, the numbers are significantly higher. The survey found that 74% of women in the southeast face discriminatory challenges—almost twice the rate of other regions. An astounding 42% of women, and 58% of women in the C-suite, say they have been asked inappropriate questions in an interview.
What makes an interview question inappropriate?
Generally speaking, if an interview question gives you pause for concern and feels unnecessary or awkward, it may be veering into inappropriate territory. A few examples of this would be, “How have you handled working with mostly men in the field?” or even, “Do you like to hang out after work?”
Interview questions should focus on relevant experience, test knowledge in your industry or specialization, or gauge how you will handle interactions with teammates while performing your job.
It’s important to note that some questions are not just inappropriate—they are illegal. As FindLaw outlines, Federal laws like the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) and the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) prohibit discrimination based on pregnancy, childbirth, related medical conditions, or having to take leave from employment responsibilities to care for a newborn baby, sick child, or aging parent. Other laws protect applicants from being discriminated against based on things such as age and race. Any attempt to suss out these protected areas with the intention to discriminate is not allowed—and it’s not just women who are hurt.
One job seeker I spoke to, who identifies as mixed-race, reports that during interviews he is often told his name sounds “exotic” and asked for its origin in a clear attempt to identify his race and ethnicity. He was once even asked if he would consider altering his hair due to “dress code standards.” Another job seeker told me that he had recently been asked if he was “in his 40s or 50s” and how much longer he planned to work before he retired.
How to navigate inappropriate questions
Navigating these inappropriate questions can be difficult because jobseekers in “interview mode” will often put pressure on themselves to answer every question asked. However, it’s important for applicants to remember that they don’t have to answer uncomfortable questions and have the agency to redirect—or shut down altogether—a conversation. Interviews are not only about the company assessing the candidate; the candidate should also be assessing the company, and inappropriate or illegal interview questions are a red flag about the organization that needs to be considered.
It’s also important to remember that not all hiring managers are HR experts and may not realize their questions are uncomfortable. Unless a person is being hostile on purpose, jobseekers should try to be curious about why the interviewer is asking and do their best to take control of their situation.
My own experience as an interviewer could have been better. When people voluntarily tell me they have children, I often ask how old they are—not because I plan to discriminate against them, but because I love kids. But I’ve seen my curiosity in this area make some candidates uncomfortable, and I completely understand why, so I have stopped asking.
What employers can do
It’s extremely important that employers ensure that inappropriate and illegal interview questions are not part of the application process. This isn’t just about staying out of legal trouble. Inappropriate questions hurt recruiting efforts, discourage applicants from applying, and lead to less inclusive workplaces. In our survey, 38% of women said they hesitated to apply for a job based on perceived gender bias.
Kathryn Rose, CEO of expert marketplace getWise says she often faced discriminatory interview questions early in her career, which ultimately led her down a path of entrepreneurship.
“I was once interviewing for a high-level sales role, and the company’s CEO asked me more than once how I closed so much business at my old company with two kids,” recalls Rose. “He asked ‘Does your husband stay at home with the kids?’ I told him ‘no, we both worked.’ Then, he insisted on seeing my W-2 to prove I was as successful as I was. He ultimately gave the position to a male candidate. He told me it was because the male had fewer home responsibilities and offered me a more junior role. I declined. It’s obstacles like this that helped fuel my desire to start my own business.”
Employers should evaluate applications and document the questions interviewers expect to ask. Rubrics are a great way for interviewers to evaluate candidates versus just providing gut feelings about a candidate. By creating a consistent framework and evaluation criteria for interview questions, employers can avoid bias and improve decision-making. The time investment for setting your hiring team up for success in the interview process will ultimately lead to better experiences for all.
Heather Tenuto is the CEO of The Muse, a leading job search and career development platform serving tens of millions of job seekers and hundreds of growing companies, and Fairygodboss, a popular online career community for women.
